Sunday, October 30, 2005

ESPN is back making terrible picks again

Mark Blount
"I suck! But not according to ESPN!"

When I got my issue of ESPN the Magazine the other day, my first thought was YAY! Now I'll be able to make my weekly ESPN bashing quota. I immediately flipped to the NBA preview section and it turns out the guys really outdid themselves this year with their terrible picks, whetehr it be Greg Anthony picking the 76ers to win the Atlantic over New Jersey, Matt Winer (who?) picking Jermaine O'Neal to be MVP, to Stephen A. Smith...everything. All of the guys took the predictable route by picking San Antonio to win the West and three out of four taking the Heat in the East (Matt Winer (who?) took Indiana). I won't argue too hard with those two as champs.

Ok, I thought, this is pretty good ammo, but the Team Previews with player ratings wre so unspeakably awful that there is no way I could rebut them point-by-point. They apparently picked an astrologer (I'm not kidding) to give insight into each team, which was actually fairly entertaining, but they often completely contradicted what the previews actually said. Again, too numerous to rebut. But it was the absolutely stupid player ratings that really got to me. I'm going to keep this brief:

ESPN ranked each projected starter and each team's bench on a scale of 1-10, with ten being the best. Mark Blount got a seven. Yes, that Mark Blount. According to ESPN, Mark Blount is better than the following players:

Mike Miller, P.J. Brown, Chris Paul, Darius Miles, Juan Dixon, Sebastian Telfair, Josh Smith, Zaza Pachulia, Primoz Brezec, Michael Sweetney, Luol Deng, Desmond Mason, Andrew Bogut, T.J. Ford, Morris Peterson, and Mike James.

I rest my case. But hey, if it wasn't for ESPN, I'd have almost nothing to write about.